
The other day, something happened that triggered me.
Despite being several years into my healing journey after surviving multiple abusive relationships, I found myself right back in that familiar dark space – face flushed, emotions overwhelming. In that moment, it felt like I had taken two steps backward, like all my progress had somehow unraveled.
But here's what I've learned, both through my personal journey and in my work as a health coach supporting women healing from abuse: these moments don't erase our progress. They're actually a normal part of the healing journey. Healing is, in fact, non-linear.
Understanding the Non-Linear Nature of Healing
When we've experienced abuse – whether emotional, physical, or psychological – our bodies and minds develop protective responses. These reactions become almost like muscle memory, deeply ingrained in our nervous system. They served us once, helping us survive difficult and dangerous situations. Even years later, something as simple as a tone of voice, a particular phrase, or a specific situation can trigger these old responses, making us feel as though we're right back where we started.
But we're not.
The Truth About Those "Two Steps Back"
Think of healing like driving a curvy mountain road. Sometimes we need to traverse left, or right, and sometimes those curves even take us backwards as we make our way forward. These moments when we seem to regress aren't failures – they're opportunities to understand ourselves better and strengthen our healing foundation.
When we experience these triggering moments, we're not starting over from the bottom of the mountain. We're simply navigating a challenging section of our non-linear journey with all the wisdom, tools, and strength we've already gathered along the way.
The Hidden Progress in Trigger Moments
What many don't realize is that our response to these triggering moments often shows just how far we've come:
We recognize what's happening more quickly
We have better tools to ground ourselves
We know this feeling won't last forever
We're able to reach out for support when we need it
We can show ourselves compassion instead of judgment
Moving Forward
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these words, please know that you're not alone. Those moments when you feel like you've taken two steps back don't define your healing journey. They're simply part of it – and sometimes they reveal strengths you didn't even know you had.
Remember: Healing isn't about never getting triggered again. It's about building a stronger relationship with yourself, developing better tools for coping, and creating a life where those triggers have less power over your present and future.
As for me, it was an opportunity to dig in and figure out why I was feeling this way. It was also an opportunity to be proud of myself for doing the work and for the proof that my non-linear journey of healing from abuse is, indeed, progressing just as it should.
You haven't lost your progress. You're just witnessing the natural ebb and flow of healing. Keep going. The path may not be straight, but every step – even the ones that feel like they're going backward – is part of your journey forward.
For help on your own healing journey, pick up your free copy of my ebook Life After Abuse: A Checklist for Getting Back in the Driver's Seat of Your Life.
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